Weekly Photoshop – Sam Allardyce

You may have heard Sam Allardyce spouting lots of rubbish recently. Apparently he could win the double at Real Madrid or Inter every season, easy. In his saved game on Football Manager perhaps. Somehow in real life I don’t think lumping it forward to emergency striker Chris Samba is quite going to cut it at the Bernabeu. Naturally he was this week’s Photoshop them in the Guardian.

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Sam Allardyce is always going on about his use of the latest football trends and innovations. One has to assume he would start taking C-Ron's beachwear advice too...

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More here. An easy target really.

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Archive.

Weekly Photoshop – Brian Laws

It’s that high-profile Burnley manager Brian Laws as this week’s Photoshop theme. Yes, the man who smacks of being a Championship manager (his level not the game) has currently overseen just two wins in the 15 games he’s managed Burnley. Their win over Hull on Saturday won’t make a difference, they’re still going down.

With his lack of any discernible history, it was a case of working out who Brian Laws looked like. Part of me thought Jabba the Hut, while he’s not dissimilar to Sam Allardyce either. In the end it was a classic 80’s TV icon that won the day.

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They could have won a speedboat! Instead Burnley got Bully Brian Laws and the busfare back home to the Championship.

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The rest of the Guardian gallery is here.

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Archive.

Season Previews 09/10 – Blackburn Rovers

Last Season: 15^th

Say hello to your new teammates: Stephen N’Zonzi, Franco Di Santo, Gael Givet (knows them already to be fair), Lars Jacobsen, Nikola Kalinic.

Highly rated.

Close the door on your way out: Roque Santa Cruz, Matt Derbyshire, Tugay, Aaron Mokoena

Predicted star: Stephen Warnock got good reviews last time out and a midfield role this season should reinforce that. Benni McCarthy could recapture the form of 2006/07. Kalinic could be an instant hit.

Needs a big year: Morten Gamst Pedersen. Has done for a while now.

One to watch: Franco Di Santo had the number 9 shirt at Chelsea but never played. Let’s see if he’s any good.

What they want to happen: Mid-table finish, something interesting to happen, two wins over relegated Burnley.

Nightmare scenario: Relegation battle. Defeat to the Clarets.

Plan A: Physical, direct football which isn’t the worst in the Premier League but by no means the prettiest either. Provide crosses from the wings to the strong men up front. Work those set pieces.

Plan B, just in case: Stick Christopher Samba up front and hoof it up to him.

Predicted finish: 12^th

Why? I think Allardyce is an idiot as a person but as a manager I can accept he’s an effective manager. He stabilised Blackburn last season after the failed Paul Ince experiment and if his time at Bolton is anything to go by, Big Sam is good at punching clubs above their weight. The squad is full of good, strong players who have plenty of experience, coupled with the usual random signings who will turn out to be pretty decent. Roberts, McCarthy and Diouf and new signing Kalinic are a handful for anyone and Di Santo will be interesting to follow.

Fool.

The midfield is on the workmanlike side rather than the creative side but players like Emerton and Reid can certainly turn it on when they feel like it. Defensively Rovers are solid, with Samba and Nelson forming a good partnership. Even Paul Robinson is ok these days. Comfortably mid-table results wise, comfortably bottom three fair play wise.

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Weekly Photoshop – Gary Megson

This week the theme was poor – Bolton’s manager Gary Megson. I genuinely struggled for a long time to come up with anything. He has zero personality and has achieved nothing either meaning there are no obvious places to start. Randomly I think he looks a bit like the guitarist from AC/DC, Angus Young. In so much that they have leathery skin and ginger hair. It was literally the only thing  could think of. You can make up your own caption about him being the spark for Bolton’s rise up the table…

 

Second rate managers deserve second rate gallery entries...

 

The rest of this week’s gallery can be found here.

 

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Previous entries: Anelka, Bendtner, Van der Sar, and the rest…

Weekly Photoshop – Phil Brown

A bit of difficult theme this week with it being the Hull manager Phil Brown. There’s only this season to go on really. Or is there?

 

Let's not forget that Phil Brown learnt everything he knows from Yoda and Jabba the Allardyce.

 

Never turn down an opportunity to poke fun at Big Sam, no matter how crudely done…

 

The rest this week’s gallery can be found here.

 

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Previous entries:

Eboue, Credit Crunch, Zaki, Gomes, Maradona, Delap, Adams, Beckham, Ramos