Posts Tagged ‘Newcastle United’

Weekly Photoshop – Carroll & Nolan

09/11/2010

Andy Carroll is a naughty boy who often ends up doing naughty things. However instead of being sent to his room to think about what he’s done,  he’s instead been sent to live with Newcastle club captain Kevin Nolan. I bet Mrs Nolan is thrilled…

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I'm sure this year's Nolan family Christmas card won't be at all awkward...

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More here.

T.

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Weekly Photoshop – Andy Carroll

07/09/2010

Newcastle’s new number 9 is the theme this week. One hat-trick against Aston Villa and already he’s the saviour…

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andy carroll

Allegedly a bit of a naughty boy.

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More here.

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T.

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Archive.

Season Previews 2010/11 – Newcastle United

11/08/2010

Newcastle

Last Season: 1st in the Championship

New Signings: Perch, Campbell, Gosling

Key Player: Jonas Gutierrez

One To Watch: Jose Enrique

Needs A Big Year: Andy Carroll

Would Quite Like: Stay up, beat Sunderland, have a normal season.

Mmm, cornrows. Always a good look.

Prediction: 17th

Thoughts: For once, there isn’t too much drama at Newcastle. After a shaky start, Chris Hughton comfortably oversaw their promotion as Champions and the current squad looks equipped enough to survive their return to the top flight. Indeed many if the player responsible for relegation are still at the club but everyone is in a happier place and they should have more confidence having dominated the Championship.

There isn’t much money to spend on reinforcements but there have been some good value signings in James Perch and Sol Campbell. Perch is a right back who can cover across the defence while Campbell showed in his cameo half season at Arsenal that he can still do a decent job at this level. His no nonsense approach and desire to win will stand the Magpies in good stead when the inevitable poor results occur. Harper is steady as you like in goal and with the likes of Coloccini and Enrique also off the back of good seasons the defence seems not too bad if potentially a little slow.

In Nolan, Smith and Barton they have three midfielders who all have a point to prove in one way or another – if Barton really does play to the level he clearly thinks he’s capable of (if not everyone agrees) then Newcastle will have a very good player on their hands again. Perhaps the main concern is over goals will come from. You have Andy Carroll who had a good year but isn’t a natural goal scorer. In support there’s Ameobi, Lovenkrands, Xisco and some youngsters. Not good. A loan signing is certainly needed.

So all in all they should be ok. It won’t be easy but they should stay up. But do old habits die hard? Are we just a short distance away from the next ridiculous story that could derail a season and only happen at St James’ Park?

T.

Weekly Photoshop – Newcastle United Naming Rights

12/11/2009

Quite  a funny topic this week, following the revelation that Newcastle United have sold the naming rights to St. James’ Park and for the rest of the season will be playing at the sportsdirect.com@St. James’ Park stadium. Catchy isn’t it?!

I don’t especially have a problem with naming rights (how could I as an Arsenal supporter) but I think you should go either the whole way or not at all. Either call it the sportsdirect.com stadium or stick with St James’ Park. Don’t try and force it all into one joint effort. Can you imagine the Emirates@Ashburton Grove or Aon Insurance@Old Trafford. Doesn’t work does it. Typical Newcastle though, always doing things cack-handedly.

Anyway, in terms of this week’s entry, my lack of internet meant I had to do it in Paint and Word at work. I got the opportunity to redo it below but you can see the original rubbish version on the Guardian site, not that this one is that much better. Jack is Jackie Milburn, 2nd highest Newcastle goalscorer btw.

 

sportdirect.com@St James' Park

Put sportsdirect.com@St James' Park into an anagrammer and you get this. I would think that a very dyslexic signwriter might come up with something similar.

 

This week’s gallery can be found here.

 

T.

 

Archive.

Weekly Photoshop – Alan Shearer

09/04/2009

Following last week’s shock announcement that Mary Poppins himself would become Newcastle manager for the rest of the season, it was inevitable that Alan Shearer would be the next gallery theme. We’ve talked on the blog before about how often he was linked with the job but it was never the right time so it will be interesting to see if he can keep Newcastle up. Personally I think Shearer is as dull as dishwater, so whilst there was potential with his poor punditry or assaults on ginger midfielders, I went for that famous celebration…

 

Alan Shearer uses his 'legendary' goal celebration to show which direction he'll be taking Newcastle...

Alan Shearer uses his 'legendary' goal celebration to show which direction he'll be taking Newcastle...

 

The rest of this week’s gallery can be found here.

 

T.

 

Previous entries: KingMowbrayRedknapp and the rest.

The Trouble With… Alan Shearer

02/12/2008

Alan Shearer says he wants to get into management, but when will he finally do so?

Last Friday’s latest revelation that he has turned down an opportunity to do some coaching work at Newcastle made me wonder is he ever actually going make the leap. He seems to be waiting for some kind of perfect scenario where Newcastle are a stable club, in the top six or thereabouts and with money to spend. This is simply not going to happen. If Newcastle were ever to reach that position in the next five years it is unlikely they would then take a risk on someone whose managerial credentials stretch as far as “Well I know the club inside out”.

Since Bobby Robson was stupidly sacked at the start of the 2004/05 season, Newcastle United have had five managers – Souness, Roeder, Allardyce, Keegan and now Kinnear. I reckon that Shearer has been linked to the job each time but has always said he’s not ready. He’s scared more like, scared that it might not all go swimmingly. I would have much more respect for him if he took the job now and built Newcastle back up to the title challengers of the mid nineties, or even into European contenders. Considering they’ve won nothing since 1969 even a League Cup would see the fans happy for about ten seasons. He is in the enviable position where he doesn’t even need to apply, or doesn’t feel the need to. It’s always “Well if they’re interested they can give me a call”. There have been calls Alan, so what exactly is the problem? 

I want the job! Me, me, me!

I want the job! Me, me, me!

Ok, maybe he wants to wait for the right moment to go back to St. James Park, that of course is his prerogative. But why not take a job somewhere else in the mean time and get some experience? What was wrong with the Blackburn job that was basically his for the taking in the summer? A solid club where he’s well revered; a decent set of players including Santa Cruz, Pederson and McCarthy; and very low expectations. They’d be delighted with just a top half finish. He won’t even accept coaching roles, which essentially have no pressure at all and you can take a lot of credit for any success (see Carlos Queiroz and Man Utd).

You could almost forgive him if he was a good pundit, but he’s not. Full of cliches, no actual opinion on anything and with the personality of a fish. I’d much rather listen to what Lee Dixon or Martin Keown have to say. Even Garth Crooks is more appealing as he at least has comedy value.

So Alan, assuming this Newcastle takeover goes through by the summer AND for some reason the new owners want you as manager, will you take the job?

Or has the Match of the Day sofa become permanently attached to your rear end?

Hmm, on second thoughts...

Hmm, on second thoughts...

 

T.


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