Weekly Photoshop – Fergie’s Media Blackout

Alex Ferguson always seems to be angry at someone, and this week his ire was aimed at most of the media for the apparent reason that they published what he said.

Of course broadcasting something negative that Fergie has said has its consequences – he promptly spoke to no-one all week. Ridiculous over-reactions aside, it’s only natural that he is this week’s photoshop theme.

Considering there’s been someone else in the news all week for the exact opposite of Ferguson’s actions (i.e. spouting off every day) it seemed right to combine the two…

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After various misquotes, Fergie decided it was high time to create his own media channel and set the record straight.

You're either with him or without.

No doubt this will sell bucketloads...

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Plenty more here.

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Weekly Photoshop – Xavi

Barcelona’s midfield maestro (well one of them anyway) is this week’s theme. A master of keeping possession, it turns out Xavi’s pass, pass, pass approach doesn’t always work (admittedly his chosen specialist subject was something of a surprise!).

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'And at the end of that round, you've scored no points and 63 passes...'

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More here (this week’s winner had the same idea).

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Weekly Photoshop – Petr Cech

Not sure why Petr Cech was this week’s Guardian photoshop theme, he hasn’t been particularly newsworthy recently. Certainly not compared to some of his other Chelsea team-mates…

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Come on Ashley, we've flogged this one as much as we can, time to get rid...

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(A few) more here.

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Weekly Photoshop – Ryan Babel

Good evening dear readers, and a happy new year. A bit of a Christmas lull meant that there hasn’t been a Photoshop in a few weeks as there was an end of year round-up and then a break. But it’s back and ready to keep entertaining and/or annoying in 2011.

First off this year we have full-time rapper and part-time Liverpool player Ryan Babel. I think it’s fair to say I definitely haven’t got those the wrong way round.

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I personally think the resemblance is uncanny. At the end of his pink and yellow jumper you'll find Liverpool's unravelled title challenge.

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There are lots of ways of referencing Bambi but let's just say I don't see Babel ever becoming the Great Prince of the Anfield forest...

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More here.

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Weekly Photoshop – Mike Ashley

A bumper edition for you this week as our Photoshop theme is Mike Ashley, chairman extraordinaire of Newcastle.

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The joker/jester/fool/buffoon (delete as applicable): someone employed to tell jokes and provide general entertainment. Every club needs one...

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Goodness knows what he sees in the mirror but I'm sure Mike Ashley thinks he's a genius.

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Like chairman, like manager.

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Lots more on the Guardian site – he really is a good topic.

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Weekly Photoshop – World Cup Bidding

So apparently England didn’t win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. Did you hear about that? I must have missed it… Lots of people weren’t very happy with Mr Blatter and his buddies at FIFA. To be honest I don’t really have a problem with Russia getting 2018; Qatar in 2022 will be the issue. Anyway, it’s difficult not to be libellous in this situation so best keep it clean I suppose.

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Blatter was the master of deception - the process of secretly extracting valuable commercial information from the unconscious mind of his targets while they dreamt of hosting the World Cup.

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Lost amid the furore of the 2018 decision was the announcement that the 2026 tournament will be held on Sepp Blatter's giant ego. Rumours that the 2030 World Cup will be held up his arse are however currently unsubstantiated...

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More here (not many this week).

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Weekly Photoshop – Scottish Referees

Quick one this evening, as I’ve got a Carling Cup game to go to in a mo.

You may have heard about the referees in Scotland going on strike after their integrity was questioned. It all seemed like a massive storm in a teacup but basically stemmed from Celtic getting a penalty overturned in a  game against Dundee Utd. A good explanation from the Beeb is here.

Anyway, it was a quite a random topic but what can you do…

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'The evil pigs sat there in their castle, smug at having stolen the referees' integrity. It was time to strike back...

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More can be found here.

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Weekly Photoshop – Asamoah Gyan

A tricky theme in this week’s Guardian photoshop challenge – Sunderland striker Asamoah Gyan. The main two options seemed to be a pun on lawnmowers or some kind of Strictly Come Dancing effort following his goal celebrations with Bolo Zenden. Never one for the obvious (unless strapped for time…) I went for this:

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If Obama's presidency is anything to go by then we have the initial euphoria of Sunderland finding themselves a previously unknown hero. This is followed by mid-season flirtations with the idea that occasional right winger Frazier Campbell is a better option, before culminating in the eventual realisation that Gyan is the best way forward...

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Catchy caption as I’m sure you’ll agree. More here.

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Weekly Photoshop – Marouane Chamakh

Arsenal’s new striker Marouane Chamakh has settled in very well since moving over from Bordeaux, scoring five goals and showing off some well rounded hold-up play.

He has certainly added another dimension to the Arsenal attack and it will be interesting to see what happens once Van Persie and Bendtner are fully fit. Meanwhile his gelled mullet and avatar-like neck lend themselves well to some good Photoshop opportunities.
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Wenger's new toy/blunt instrument should help Arsenal be more successful in tackling Premier League defences this season...

SUCCESS! I got 3rd place this week which means I win a copy of Peter Storey’s autobiography True Storey: My Life and Crimes as a Football Hatchet. He would certainly be useful in today’s Arsenal squad. The rest of the gallery is here.

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Weekly Photoshop – Carroll & Nolan

Andy Carroll is a naughty boy who often ends up doing naughty things. However instead of being sent to his room to think about what he’s done,  he’s instead been sent to live with Newcastle club captain Kevin Nolan. I bet Mrs Nolan is thrilled…

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I'm sure this year's Nolan family Christmas card won't be at all awkward...

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More here.

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