Germany v England Minute by Minute!

by

A minute by minute report of Germany v England!

Buildup:

Tyldesley and Pleat commentating. ITV coverage. Joy.

Apparently (Jon Obi) Mikel Ballack is missing for Germany. I thought his name was Michael Ballack.

Teams:

Germany: Adler, Friedrich, Mertesacker, Westermann, Compper, Schweinsteiger, Rolfes, Jones, Trochowski, Gomez, Klose.

Subs: Wiese, Hinkel, Tasci, Helmes, Podolski, Marin, Hitzlsperger, Schafer, Weis.

England: James, Johnson, Terry, Upson, Bridge, Wright-Phillips, Carrick, Barry, Downing, Defoe, Agbonlahor.

Subs: Carson, Robinson, Lescott, Richards, Mancienne, Davies, Parker, Bullard, Young, Crouch, Bent.

The start is delayed while some ex players shake the current players’ hands.

1 min: We’re underway.

2 mins: First mention of that Owen hat-trick in Munich seven years ago.

3 mins: Decent start by England, Downing gets by his man but skies his cross. Who is this mysterious Mikel Ballack?

6 mins: Nervy moment for Terry as he nearly gifts a backpass to Germany instead of James.

7 mins:  Joachim Loew is wearing a very nice coat. A black mac type number with a trendy high collar. 

Stylish

Stylish.

8 mins: England win a corner. Germany deal with it.

12 mins: 77% possession for England thus far.

13 mins: England free kick. Downing bizarrely lines up like a fly half to take the kick. Barry plays the secondary ball wide to Agbonlahor who beats the keeper to it but the ref blows up for a foul.

15 mins: We are told Jermaine Jones is of American descent. I have had many years of wishing that Germany would stop nicking Poland’s best players. If Klose and Podolski played for Poland they would actually be a decent team. Instead they have to make people like Emmanuel Olisadebe Polish…

19 mins: We almost had the first mention of Crouch has good feet for a big man. Instead we get he has a good touch. A wright Phillips corner comes to nothing again. Germany clear.

21 mins: England are playing with confidence. Agbonlahor is using his pace well to try and get in behind the German defence.

23 mins: Goal for England! 0-1! The German keeper Adler makes a Heurelho Gomes style mess of a Downing corner and Matthew Upson scrambles it in. They’ve fully deserved it too. That really was poor keeping by Adler though. He tried to punch away but his left hand was blocked meaning he missed it completely. It bounces off Agbonlahor’s head and Upson pokes it in. Fully deserved too.

26 mins: Klose wins a free kick on the left, which is fired in by Trochowski (yet another stolen Polish player). James makes a slightly awkward punch but eventually England clear their lines.

30 mins: Capello is wearing an Umbro puffa jacket. I guess if you’re being paid £5million a year you wear what you’re told.

Well I guess it's warm at least

Well I guess it's warm at least...

33 mins: Bastian (Schweinsteiger) Pigforeman drives in a free kick from midfield. Westermann gets his head to the ball but it goes wide.

34 mins: SWP gets in behind and tried to centre the ball to Agbonlahor. It’s a poor cutback though and the chance comes to nothing.

36 mins: Agbonlahor is just offside from an SWP through ball. He puts it in the net anyway but the whistle had long gone.

38 mins: Johnson wins another corner. Adler looks about 12 but makes the punch this time.

39 mins: Try a Pukka pie? No thanks, I’m good. Germany corner. Comes to nothing but they get another. Headed away by Downing. England have a great chance to break but Gabby’s (I’m not writing Agbonlahor anymore) ball to SWP is very poor.

42 mins: Jimmy Bullard amuses Ashley Young and Carson on the bench. He’s a right character…

43 mins: A few whistles for Gomez as he’s muscled off the ball by Carrick.

44 mins: This half has gone very quickly. Bit of a lull as the players set towards half time.

45mins: Just as I type that, Downing belts a shot in from the left wing. Adler parries it to SWP but the wee man fails to test the keeper.

Half time: A good display from England thus far. The pace of Downing, SWP and Gabby is causing Germany all sorts of problems.

I’m off to make some tea and avoid Teddy Sheringham.

46 mins: Half time changes – Bent on for Defoe, Carson for James. Germany bring on Wiese for Adler.

49 mins: Germany have a decent passage of play (well, better than anything they’ve done thus far) but can’t create an opening. They fire in a shot instead. Their movement off the ball hasn’t been great this evening.

50 mins: Terry takes out Westermann on the right wing. Got the ball though so in Andy Townsend’s book that’s ok.

52 mins: Capello is angry at something or other on the touchline. I find Capello angry quite funny. I would therefore probably not be in Capello’s squad.

54 mins: We just heard a random shout of “Hey, Fabio!” It sounded Scouse. I thought all the Liverpool boys were out injured.

55 mins: It’s been a quiet start to the second half so far. Carrick and Barry are passing well though. Downing skips past a German player who did not look bothered at all and fires a shot in wide.

57 mins: Podolski on for Gomez. The crowd respond positively. Every time I’ve seen Gomez he’s been a bit pants. I’m sure he ruined many a Euro 2008 fantasy team. This is Podolski’s 60th cap and he’s only 23. And they say there are too many meaningless friendlies…

62 mins: SWP wins a corner. Downing takes it Arsenal style and it fails to beat the first man.

63 mins: Terrible miss by Bent. Johnson does well to win the ball, Barry plays a lovely through ball and Bent rounds the keeper but slips as he tries to slide it in with his left foot. It goes wide. Reminds me of his miss against Arsenal last year.

64 mins: Goal for Germany! 1-1! They go straight down the other end. Terry is very hesitant with a long ball and he tried to shepherd it back to Carson. Carson makes half an attempt to come out and clear and in the middle of this Helmes nips in and slots it in through Carson’s legs. Terry should have cleared it but you have to think Carson told him he was coming for it. Poor from both players really and as captain Terry should have dealt with it.

67 mins: How will England respond? Gabby is played through by Carrick and uses his pace to go past the defender. He fires in a good shot and the keeper makes a decent save. No corner given though.

70 mins: Tasci on for Friedrich.

71 mins: Downing fires in a free kick which just bounces in front of the keeper. Wiese makes a good save.

72 mins: The rain is starting to affect footing. Meanwhile Bent has a small penalty appeal as he tackled by Wiese. It was a good challenge though, no penalty.

75 mins: Germany are definitely on top at the moment. Marin takes a good low shot and Carson makes a decent parry wide to his right. The England defence looks a bit nervy right now.

77 mins: Ashley Young on for club mate Agbonlahor. Schafer on for Commper.

79 mins: SWP smacks a great shot against the post. He skips past a player and pings it from 25 yards. It was swerving away but Wiese got fingertips to it. The England bench have their heads in their hands. Capello reacts to the shot by taking a step forward. Does that mean he was impressed?

82 mins: It’s end to end as both teams search for a winner.

84 mins: Goal for England! 1-2! Terry grabs himself The Sun headlines in the morning by getting his head to a Downing free kick. He strays offside at the back post, but jumps higher than (fouls) his marker and flicks a header over Tim Wiese. Maybe he really does care about playing for England. Even Capello smiles.

87 mins: All the noise is coming from the England fans. England look to break in search of another. Young’s cross sails harmlessly over though.

88 mins: The boys in the studio (Townsend, Le Saux and Sheringham) have decided that man of the match is Mattew Upson. Not too sure about that. I would give it to Downing probably. Or SWP. Or Carrick even. All had more of an impact.

Man of the match? Ich don't think so

Man of the match? Ich don't think so...

90 mins: This game is petering out know, I think both teams have settled for this result.

91 mins: Germany’s final attack comes to nothing.

92 mins: England still push forward though. Downing curls a right footer but Wiese punches away.

93 mins: Large for little. Crouch comes on for SWP. He even gets a touch before full time.

94 mins: Full Time. Germany 1 England 2. The final whistle blows. A deserved victory for England, their fifth in a row. Some good performances for the reserve midfielders will certainly give Capello something to think about. I’m won’t watch the post match analysis as I sincerely doubt anything Teddy Sheringham says will give me something to think about…

 

T.

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2 Responses to “Germany v England Minute by Minute!”

  1. bubaganoosh25 Says:

    I enjoyed reading your minute-by-minute more than actually watching the second half of the match.
    But seriously, where do you find these random videos/pics of footie stars?
    That Bullard video is hilarious, although only reaffirms the public’s perceptions of footballers. I bet there is none of that in the England changing room. Who could take up Cassano’s job from the Real Madrid days when he used to mimick Fabio ‘Hat’? Can’t imagine that JT is very goood at impersonations!

  2. Football Guy Says:

    Low without hair – http://www.moviezeal.com/wp-content/uploads/nosferatu1.jpg

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